So who really is an individualist?

There is a widely accepted notion that Europeans (or Westerners) are individualistic. It’s normal for us to move hundreds of miles away from home in search of the perfect job, leaving our family behind. It’s normal for us to send our children to nursery school from an early age, instead of becoming stay-at-home mothers. It’s normal for us to see our parents infrequently, keeping in touch only by sending an occasional postcard or a Christmas present. Yet, I would argue that this view, that individualism is a characteristic which applies mostly to Westerners, is completely deluded.

In India, I always had a feeling that I was surrounded by the most individualistic society I had ever seen. People only seemed to care about two things – "me and my family". Often, I would see people take advantage of others, betray a friend or simply refuse to do someone a favour, if it in any way affected the convenience or prosperity of “me and my family” for them. Nobody else matters. I had often seen Westerners being accused of lack of respect and care for our parents and elders. We are called individualists because we do not keep in touch with our relatives frequently, because we live on our own and we do not ask our parents’ opinion when making important life decisions – like who we marry or what profession we choose. We earn our own money and decide how to spend it. We don't ask our families for approval, or for support. But does that automatically mean we are individualists? Since when does independence equal individualism? Sure, the Indians may be much more faithful to their families. Yet, I find that, in India, family is simply an extension of one’s own ego, and often an excuse not to care about the wider society.

I found it hard to exactly pinpoint how the Indian breed of individualism demonstrates itself. And then I found an example which shows it perfectly - the complete lack of concern for the environment. In India, whenever people unwrap a chocolate bar or finish a bag crisps, they throw the wrapper on the ground. As a child growing up in the Czech Republic, my mother was always appalled when she had seen me doing something like that. She would shout at me, make me pick up the wrapper immediately and take it to the nearest bin. Even strangers, standing at the bus stop, would tell off their fellow citizens (not just children) if they saw them littering like that. Even though the street may not be my private property, I care it about it. We share our town and we want it to be nice, for everybody. Surely, that proves we are far less individualistic?

One time, I was sitting on an Indian train next to a mother and a child. They had both been drinking milk from glass bottles. When the child was finished, his mother took the bottle from him and threw it out of the window. She didn’t care where this bottle might end up, or that the glass might hurt somebody standing next to the railway line. What’s even worse, she was teaching her child not to care either. She was teaching him to satisfy his needs in a way that is most convenient for him, irrespective of whether it may inconvenience or hurt other people. To me, that is the perfect example of individualism. It's a selfish and deliberately ignorant behaviour.

In the West, whether we call ourselves Catholic, Protestant or Atheist, our society is largely based on Christian principles. Without realising that many of these principles have their origin in the Bible, we accept them as universally true, the basis of common decency and moral standards. I am talking about ideas such as: “Love your neighbour as yourself.” and “Honour your father and your mother.” or, for example: “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour.” 

Although we may spend most of our days going around our own business, if we see an innocent person being subjected to some wrongdoing, we accept it to be our duty as citizens to help, irrespective of whether we are related to that person by blood. I never like to generalize, but from observing the behaviour in Indian society, I somehow wouldn't bet my money on an Indian helping a complete stranger out of trouble, unless they see some benefit in it. That's just my feeling. On the other hand, I have no doubt that Indians would bend themselves over backwards to help their families out of trouble, much more so than people in Europe.

So when it comes to Europeans and individualism, I think we need to discard the idea that being independent is individualistic. In fact, I think that most Europeans see it as the exact opposite. By being self-sufficient, we take a huge burden off our parents. They have spent a large part of their lives raising us and, surely, now that we are adults, it is time to let them enjoy their own life, and not to bother them with our own problems and decisions which we need to take for ourselves. I like to think that this is our way of showing care and respect for them.